conflict

the sun rises, brightly blazing in the skies

a new day, a fresh start - the same dreams

awoke with hopes and desires and spirit

ready to face the challenges of the day

the day is full of choices, decisions

equipped for some, guessing for most

i took the one less traveled by

and that has made all the difference

i'm still fighting but i'm barely breathing

i feel small, inadequate - like an infant

i dropped to my knees and hold my hands

in prayer, asking for guidance and strength

the stars and moon sings a sweet lullaby

the phone rings, a familiar voice says hello

a voice so soothing, takes the troubles away

goodnight troubles, there's always tomorrow

ps: the last 2 lines of the second verse was taken from 'the road not taken' by robert frost.

i dun think i am the kind to actually travel uncharted territory. however when i am faced with a decision, i usually take the one that would challenge me the most. dun get me wrong and mistaken me as the adventurous kind that laughs at the face of danger. everytime i'm face with a decision like that, i decide with fear in my heart... for i know i'm taking a risk and as risk always is - sometimes it pays off, sometimes it hits you back in the face...

but i also believe that we should live life to the fullest every single day, no? so i make decisions that would not make me look back with regret 5 years down the road. again, this is a phrase often overused and abused. it's always easier said than done. always. for you always gain something by losing something else... and more times than most, it's always something precious and close to your heart that you will have to sacrifice.

how many of you out there understands this post? not many i think... i just felt that lately, my posts have been without a personal touch... without emotions... for fear of something or another, i've made my posts very neutral... i think it's time i started to express my feelings again in a form that i enjoy doing... it's time i use this blog for the very purpose i started it in the beginning...

ps2: do expect a long post (most probably from cl, as i will use my usual excuse of the lack of time to write one) and lots of pics (i can contribute to this) in the near future. i have just returned from a 16 day vacation in which i've travelled to bangkok and pattaya of thailand and also to penang for cny...

oh yeah, a very happy new year and may the year of the ox gives us all enough resilience to face the tough times that lie ahead of us... =)

Wishing List

From Kitt Yin and Taka blog, I saw a list of stuff they wish. A so called Wishing List. Looking at their wishing list, it makes me wonder....what will be the item on my wishing list. My wishing list changes from time to time. As I grow up, the price of those items on my wishing list is getting more and more expensive as well.

I am someone who feel grateful with what I am owning. No matter poor as student, or earning little money as an engineer, I am always feel satisfy with what I am having. And I am always telling myself to appreciate what I have now. Even though I am satisfy with what I have, everyone still have a wish list, and I have mine too. Am I contradicting myself? =)

Today, an item that want to be rank on my wishing list, it has to be at least 4 digits. Want to be on top of my wishing list? er....maybe...RM xxx xxx?

When I am 10 years old, a pencil box which cost RM 15 sounds so expensive for me.
When I am 15 years old, a school bag which cost RM 150 sounds 'wow' to me as well.
When I am 18 years old, a top which cost RM200 sounds so far from me.
When I am 25 years old on 2009, it has to be a RM xx xxx only can make me 'wow'.
What will happen when I am 30 years old? RM x xxx xxx?

It is like an exponential graph which climbing a steep slope that even myself begin to question against myself. Am I going to lost myself in this materialistic world? I couldn't control it since my brain and eye are the boss. Their are the one who're looking at more and more super branded stuff.

I had a conversation with Jessica Tan about it that day. She feels nothing wrong with that. Human are tend to climb up. By putting our target to more expensive thing, we will work harder, earn more and aim higher. It signifies that we are growing up and moving forward. I agreed with her. Deep inside my heart, I feel nothing wrong as well. (anything wrong meh?! chew)

On the other side, I start to worry that am I getting more and more materialistic? Am I becoming someone who only buy the most high technology hand phone, dine in those restaurant rated 4 star in magazine, study on all the fashion magazine and website which is the latest hand bag from Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Hermes, Balenciaga, Bottega Veneta? Am I? Am I?

Aiming for more expensive thing...

good? bad?

However, I am still the one who wear a cloth from aunties boutique, like to buy earring from little stall, shop for shoe from night market (pasar malam)! Me is still me. Yes, I admit that I am getting more and more greedy. I am not so easy to satisfy anymore. Nonetheless, my eye still widely open, I am not yet blind by money. Never.